Yes, this is my first post in a while. A long while. Have I been shameful hiding because I went on a shopping spree and broke my Buy Nothing Year pledge?
I must confess I did buy something yesterday. Something I already own and that I don’t actually need. Something that definitely breaks the rules. But something I just wanted to buy SO MUCH that temptation got the better of me. What would break you?
For me, it was a yoga mat. And also, in a way, the reason I haven’t posted in a few months.
When I started this blog, I was mindful that I’m a pathological action addict. I do too much. I overcommit, I underestimate the effort required to do things and I overestimate my ability to do them. I start up a project and quickly burn out, because it’s just one of too many.
I didn’t want this blog to be another burn-out project. I didn’t want it becoming an energy-sucking chore. I started this blog because I wanted to document my Buy Nothing Year challenge and because I enjoy writing and have long wanted to try blogging. But I had to make a rule that if life got too hard, I would give myself permission to stop.
Life got too hard.
And I did give myself permission to stop. I’m quite proud of myself for doing this, as it’s an achievement in itself. I allowed myself to take a break, to set my own rules for what I ‘should’ do, to look after myself, and to not feel guilty about it.
So much so, that in 10 days I’m hopping on a plane to Bali for 10 days of massages, spa treatments, naps, books and yoga…. on my new yoga mat! It’s in the mail at the moment and I’m so excited to get it.
Now, I’m sure I could have gotten by without a new mat. I’m sure you can borrow or hire a yoga mat in Bali. I mean.. it’s Bali! But….
Yes. There’s always a ‘but’. Here’s why I bought a yoga mat during Buy Nothing Year:
- The only yoga mat I’ve ever bought is about 15 years old now. It’s ripped, warped, stretched and squashed into random waves (no longer unfurls flat).
- I’ve been thinking about buying a new one for a few years now, but haven’t because I go to classes in a martial arts dojo that has the entire floor covered in thick matting (no at required at all!). I’d probably need a new mat if I ever changed yoga studios.
- My current mat is too thin for my dodgy knees, meaning I have to borrow a mat to double up with or to bring a towel or jumper to fold up under my knees for each kneeling or lunging pose.
- My current yoga mat has always annoyed me. The colours are too bright for class (I stand out like a sore, and very pink, thumb) and it’s way too short and narrow. I’m always having to adjust my poses just to fit onto the mat. It interrupts my flow and my focus, and frustration is not something you want to bring into your practice.
Are these reasons or justifications for buying a new mat?
The purpose of Buy Nothing Year is to help declutter by stopping the inflow of stuff into my life, to make me reassess what I really need, to break shopping habits, to change my relationship with stuff and to shift from mindless consumerism to intentional purchases.
It’s ok to own things. It’s ok to buy things. So long as they are the right things.
This will be the only yoga mat I buy for years. So I made sure it was a good one. One that is as ethical and sustainable as possible. I scoured the internet for yoga mats made of natural, biodegradable or compostable materials, made with minimal chemicals and packaging, made by a socially sustainable, ethical brand and one that is durable, high quality and enjoyable to own.
I bought a ‘Grounded’ Mukti Mat, made from natural (not petroleum derived) rubber and jute. And it’s even a local brand!
My yoga mat is an intentional purchase. A mat is essential for home practice, which I want to do much more of. The mat will bring more yoga into my life, and yoga makes me happy and helathy. It is good for me physically, emotionally and mentally. The yoga mat will improve my life.
Of course, this is exactly the kind of thinking that results in ‘aspirational purchases’. “If I buy good running shoes, I will get fit”. “If I buy this treadmill, I will use it all the time”. Wrong. You’ll use it a couple of times and then it will gather dust for a few years until you finally chuck it out.
But in this case, I’ve been practicing yoga for nearly 15 years. I realised last year that my relationship with yoga has changed from something I try to do to something I can do. I no longer watch other people with envy and awe, wondering how they can bend like that. I am now comfortable enough with my practice to call myself a yogini and not feel like a fraud. I love yoga. I need yoga in my life. I am a yogini. I am going to Bali to practice yoga for 10 days. I am taking my new yoga mat. I will keep using my yoga many for many more years to come. And when it is old and worn and no longer usable, I will use it on my garden as weed matting, where it will slowly biodegrade and became part of the soil.
This is a good purchase. I am happy I’ve made it.
But what have I been up to the last few months? What have and haven’t I bought? Have I failed at my challenge or am I still going strong? You’ll just have to wait until my next post to find out.. if I write one 😉